am (yay4fish) wrote in diamonds4ever,

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hmm. ponderous.

its amazing what can change in a matter of years, months, weeks, and even sometimes days. people grow to realize so many new ideals and figure out their own true character. and within figuring out their own character, other people's characters are more accurately viewed. to look back on a mere 6 months ago the world was so small and the things so close to me were all that mattered. but after so much changing and maturing between myself and the people around me i realized that you dont have to make peace with everything around you. everything doesnt have to be perfect. simply because youre everyday surroundings arent exactly what you want doesnt mean you have to change them. u can just venture outside the ordinary and find so much more. you can find new friends and new passions and new places to invest your time. as we grow up we fall away from each other even more, but it doesn't have to be such an awful thing. growing away from people you once were close with shows that youre beginning to understand yourself more and means that soon you'll be growing closer to new people. i feel like this is the point in our lives where we find the people that will be our best friends when we are 40. for those people who remain in friendships that started in kindergarten all through their lives, i want to just say theyre are lucky. all five of us, chels, cari, devin, sam, me, we were all thrown into a similar situation that was very different then the environments of most our everyday friends. because we shared this new place to adjust to we found each other and used eachother as a comfort zone in a place where the large groups of people we hang around in arent there. from this we started calling each other best friends because we could relate so easily to one another and could share the same views on many things. but as we all matured this year we began to fit into the different environment much more easily, we all found our niches in this not-so-normal-high-school world. as we grew comfortable we examined our friends more closely and realized who we felt more comfortable with, and without. so i guess i just wanted to get all these thoughts out. and to say that we shouldnt view all these changes so negatively. i know that each and everyone of us has done our fair share of bashing each other behind peoples back these past couple of months and that should be over now. we need to accept that our situation is no ones fault and no one is really a "worse friend" or "worse" than someone else. all in all this is a positive experience for each of us to learn from, for each of us to learn something about ourselves from. with every experience comes so much knowledge and with acceptance the negativty shouldnt be necessary. to end my little thoughts heres a little poem i found in someones info one time. i saved it from a boy-girl relationship stand point, but it really sums up realtionships in general pretty well.
just always know that each one of u holds a special and distinct spot in my heart and i will treasure for life the time and friendships ive spent with you four girls, for however long they last/lasted.

*After a while u learn the difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and u learn that love doesn't mean leaning, and company doesn't mean security, that kisses aren't contracts, and u begin to accept ur defeats with ur head held high and ur eyes wide open with the grace of a woman not the grief of a child. You learn to build ur roads on today because tomorrow's ground is to uncertain and futures have a way of falling down mid-flight. After a while u learn even sunshine burns if u get too much. So plant ur own garden instead of waiting for someone to bring u flowers and u learn that u really can endure, that u really are strong, and u really do have worth. And you learn and learn, with every goodbye you learn

each one of us are such uniquely wonderful people despite whatever faults we hold
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