Chels (dolleyes12) wrote in diamonds4ever,

Hopefully this can end :)

Well I know the five of us have been having a lot of problems. I also know that I don't want to get into a worse fight. So please please don't take any of this the wrong way. I only want to get out MY feelings so that it can be forgotten and started over. This is not to be MEAN to anyone, or to get "revenge" or to start something new. It's to END this. I am not going to speak for anyone but myself.


When you called me to tell me that our friendship was dwindling, I could feel it, too. I feel like I've been trying really hard - I had my party, I thought we would get to hang out at Amber's party (but you left with some guy, Amber said), I invited you to the movies with Devin and I (and I do understand that you had other plans). But I HAVE been trying. I just feel like it's for nothing. I know you've heard this from other people, but I am REALLY sick of the ma femme thing. Honestly, I am really happy that you and Sam are so close - having a best friend is the most wonderful thing in the world, and I congratulate you on it. But it feels like you two are flaunting it in front of Devin, Amber, and I, and it really really hurts. As if we don't see you two everyday hanging out and telling secrets. It's okay - I'm not saying that you two shouldn't be this close. I'm just saying that I don't really want to hear ma femme every ten minutes. Also, I feel like ever since your call, you have not tried. Every time that you and Sam are hanging out, it's because you have driven to her house or driven her around. I have not once been invited to enter your truck with you, whether to go somewhere, or for you to come and visit. I was extremely hurt at the drama play when you chose to only drive Sam back to Amber's house. It felt like, yeah, we were going to go have a sleepover together, but first you had to have alone time with each other, and not us. Then you forgot to call your mom (which I know is not like you) and then you got all mad at her for getting upset with you. I honestly feel like you've changed - I don't think you ever would have gotten upset at her for a mistake that you made last year. Don't take me the wrong way, PLEASE - I know people make mistakes. I prolly will forget once or twice in my lifetime to call, too. It's just how mad you got that upset me.

I do love you, Cari, and I want to fix this.

The same goes for you about the whole ma femme thing. Also, I was really upset on the bus today. You really didn't talk to me at all, the only time was to yell at me for crabbing to Amber. I admit that it was wrong of me to be so snippy so quick with her - but I also know that you have a tendency to do that, too. Everyone does - it happens. I just didn't like how you pointed it out so bluntly and quickly. I was also really hurt the other day when you got offended about your cousin, Jackie. I understand that you have a complete right to defend her. But I also know that one year ago, we were talking about her badly in the hallway outside of GAT and you were crying and I was saying how horrible she was just to comfort you. What happened? If I'd have known that you were going to take offense, I never would have said it. But I wish you would let me know so that I don't get yelled at for it.

I love you, too, Sam, and I want this also to be over.

Devin and Amber and I have been hanging out a lot. It is NOT to get back, get revenge, or do anything else of that matter. We just were left that way. You two were always together, so that left us three.

I want us to be as close as last year! I miss us five. Please write me back. BUT PLEASE DONT TAKE ANY OF THIS THE WRONG WAY. You both have the right to tell me what I've done wrong in the past week. I know that. But hopefully soon, everything will be out and nothing will need to be hidden anymore.
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